Thoughts as We Enter The Season of the Christ Mass 2015

THERESA OF CALCUTTA - - has been my hero from my early days as a nurse. I had her picture on my clipboard when I was working in oncology. I would put her photo and quotes up in secret and not so secret places all through the oncology unit where I worked at St. John's Regional Medical Center in Oxnard (In linen closets, in the med drawers, in the locker room, in the nurse’s station).  I do not remember all the quotes I put up around the hospital unit, but I do remember one I kept on my clipboard. This quote remains for me to this day as guide for my daily life:

************************************

“I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”

― Mother Teresa

************************************

Teresa of Calcutta epitomized the words of TERESA OF AVILA (another hero who through her work - "The Interior Castle" has guided my life) - - - - -

Both Teresa’s are LIFE MENTORS for me.  They are for me exemplars in service to God through our service to humankind and all life coupled with deep prayer and meditation. 

When I worked on that oncology unit at St. John’s in every bed there was my Sister, my Mother, by Brother, my Uncle – all were relatives.  There was no person I cared for who was not a relative.  Now even in the smallest thing – buying food at the market, driving my car, taking a walk – everyone I encounter is a relative… and here is the good news:  so many I meet also recognize we are ALL RELATED- we are all one family.  With heart overflowing i see, the numbers who recognize our oneness growing.

As we enter this Holy Season there is so much division and suffering in the world. Battle lines have been drawn dividing those who claim Christianity, Judaism and Islam (and other ways).  In the name of The Beloved, who is LOVE we spew words and actions which are the anti-thesis of the affiliation we claim.  We point fingers at the other and say “He started it.”  We are sometimes school children without the maturity to know the ultimate creation of healing and balance comes not in controlling the ‘Other’ but in controlling the Self. 

It is time for people of good heart and good intention to stand up and be counted.  As we stand, others will find the inner strength and fortitude to stand with us.

With heart overflowing with love and gratitude for those who have gone before and hold aloft the light to guide our way – Pranams – Pranams – Pranams -

******************************************

“Christ has no body now on earth but yours,

no hands but yours, no feet but yours,

Yours are the eyes through which to look out

Christ's compassion to the world

Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good;

Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.”

TERESA OF AVILA

******************************************

COUNTING SINS

 

"Counting other people's sins does not make you a saint.'

(author unknown)

*********************************

This is a tough one for us two-leggeds.  Whereas on one hand it is good to have discernment and consider outcomes of choices - and one way to do this is to be aware and observe the cause and effect in the lives of those you come in contact with from day to day - - - -however, we do NOT know thier whole story. 



Even those we may share our homes and day to day lives with have parts of themselves we are not privy to - perhaps ever. We do not know what has put them where they are now - and if we think we know - - we are like the blind men who thought they understood what the elephant was when in truth their understanding was quite limited. 

 

 This writing is for me also - - it is so easy for me to judge another. I decide what is good/bad ... virtue/sin ... over and over many times in one day.  We do not even fully understand our own mechanisations - - - - - - what makes  us / me   think i could ever fully understand another. 

 The Creator has given me a primary task : LOVE ...

This loving does not mean condone or support poor choices in self or others ...

This loving does not mean allowing self to be victim . . .

This does mean just LOVE ... 

.. not 'put up with' .. 

.. but full bore be a conduit of love for all .. 

 

Making - Making -Some Day Made   

UNDER★THE★VAULT OF HEAVEN

It is so hard to believe, some might actually choose a manufactured world over the natural world consistently without hesitation.  This is not to say I do not appreciate the amenities of the manufactured world.  To be in a warm shower with pure water pouring over a tired body is heaven after a few weeks wherein a bath has consisted of a damp cloth run across the limbs that comes back covered in soil.  This being said, as the water cleanses the body one finds that the heart and mind is often still and quiet with memories of being on the open land far from city lights and sounds.

I remember back in the day married to my first husband. We were driving down a highway in Southern California. I was in the passenger seat and looking out to the right at a wide expanse of untouched land - verdant / full of life. . . I said. . 'Isn’t it beautiful!' --- My then husband agreed wholeheartedly. I looked over at him and saw he was looking across the left side of the road to sterile new high rise office buildings lined up like dominos. - - - I never said anything-- what was there to say. . .

Growing up in a small town on the coast of Southern California in middle 1950s there was still much open land – fields wild with life.  I was the child who all in the neighborhood knew to find among the wild things.  I was the one who lived in the tree tops.  When I woke in the morning in the summer time, if my mom was not taking my brother and me along with all the neighbor kids to the beach I might choose to play with my toys, play tag with the neighbor kids or read one of the 6 books my mother allowed me to check out from the library every 2 weeks (though I was more likely to read after the sun was down than when sunlight was burning). 

However, I would just as likely pack a lunch and head for a family of old oak trees.  The branches reached out and touched one another and I could climb from one tree to the other without touching the earth.  My fondest memories of childhood always included time with the trees.  Time would fly by in the trees and before I knew it the sun was setting and it was time to head for home.  This was before cell phones and worries about strangers – the simple rule of summer was: be home in time for dinner.  I do not remember many thoughts from this time in the trees  -  however the feeling of peace and joy are viscerally strong memories.  I do remember how time would fly by and the sun which had been in the eastern sky would magically be in the western sky.

Climbing trees is no longer an effortless and easy task as the years begin to weigh on this body – however – to lay my head against a trunk of one of the old ones can still bring the peace and joy and we can know we are …

ONE Heart

ONE Mind

ONE Body

THANK YOU FOR UNANSWERED PRAYERS

I remember a time when I thought The Power of The Universe was like a shop keeper to be bargained with.

I would promise my goodness and obedient child demeanor in exchange for the many bright colored gifts I wanted to possess.

I would promise times of prayer and meditation and acts of kindness in exchange for happiness, I thought could be achieved through the acquisition of SOMETHING.

Happiness was seen as material possessions which shined and sparkled on my arm jingling as I moved drawing the envious eyes of all.

Or it was seen as acres on acres of verdant land spanning ocean, forest, valley and hill-lands further than the eye could see, again creating envy and desire in others.

And these objects of happiness included the hearts of others, which I esteemed so little I actually thought I could own them through their envy.

Yes, the ownership of others loyalty, love and adoration focused on what I saw as THE ME which was at the pinnacle of my prayers.

Who did I think I was?

How fortunate this life has proven to be. .  . 

The Divine knows me better than I know myself and loves me with a complete and oceanic passion, crashing down and covering me in mercy.

Crashing over the shore line of my consciousness with relentless power as desire is granted and destroyed with equal benevolence.

There is room for nothing to abide and behold except this relentless power which beats down on me again and yet again.

What I had thought was sent to maim, kill and bring deep suffering has done none of those things.

Now The Prayer has changed.

When the desire for bangles and baubles surfaces again, I begin to yawn as the boredom of such miniscule craving starts its destined trek to destruction.

And instead of waiting for the demise of the desire, turn a bit more quickly to My Beloved.

 And now The Prayer is full to overflowing with Gratitude and Thank You for the LOVE which pervades all.

 

 

LIFE RESOLUTIONS

 

 

Here we go again.  Each year we set new goals.  Each year we make a vow to try harder. We make a vow to be more focused in achieving the goals we set.  Each year we tell ourselves that finally - THIS TIME - we will not give up.  On one hand it is good to not be too hard on ourselves if we are not able to keep the resolve. Making changes to well set habit patterns is not an easy thing. 

However, not being hard on self when the goal is not met is not the same as giving up.  Start over a thousand times – or a thousand times one thousand times if that is what it takes.  If the resolution is honorable … if the resolution brings beauty and balance to life do not give up. 

Though I make numerous and a bit more ‘public’ New Year’s Resolutions each year, I hold closer to my heart a goal set 4 years ago when it became clear to me the need was paramount.  Over and over I have failed to keep the resolution.  Over and over I have reaffirmed the resolution with sincerity.  Inch by inch the journey of 1,000 times 1,000 miles is traversed. 

Here is what I know: 

*I do not know how long it will take. 

*I do not know how many times I will need to start again. 

*I do know I will not give up. 

*I do know the destination is assured. 

It is commendable to make small honorable resolutions and then keep those resolutions.  (Exercise 3 x per week, eat a nutritious breakfast every day, and say please and thank you).  Even small honorable resolutions build toward ‘life resolutions’ which will bring beauty to our lives and the lives of those around us.  

At some point, you might consider actually looking at a LIFE RESOLUTION and making it your own.  You might consider something so magnificent you are humbled to even consider the perhaps daunting task of seeking attunement with the virtue.  There are any number of sources offering possible directions for this life travel.  One I offer here for your consideration is from The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

 

The Blessed Lord said:

 Fearlessness, purity of heart, perseverance in acquiring wisdom and in practicing yoga, charity, subjugation of the senses, performance of holy rites, study of the scriptures, self-discipline, straightforwardness;

 Noninjury, truthfulness, freedom from wrath, renunciation, peacefulness, nonslanderousness, compassion for all creatures, absence of greed, gentleness, modesty, lack of restlessness;

 Radiance of character, forgiveness, patience, cleanness, freedom from hate, absence of conceit—these qualities are the wealth of a divinely inclined person, O Descendant of Bharata.

— The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

In these short stanzas we are given 26 soul qualities which bring transcendent beauty.  Perhaps it is time to set a life goal worthy of one who is in essence Immutable Soul.  Listed in The Gita are SOUL QUALITIES.  Take one on for a year or two or longer.  Even one year of focused intention will change you forever.   

If not now – when will you finally take the first step to achieving your true potential? 

These thoughts are offered not by one who knows all truth but rather by a fellow sojourner on the path.  

 

1.      Fearlessness (abhayam)

2.      Purity of heart (sattva-samshuddhi)

3.      Steadfastness

4.      Almsgiving (dana)

5.      Self-restraint (dama)

6.      Religious rites (yajnas)

7.      Right study of the scriptures (svadhyaya)

8.      Self-discipline (tapas)

9.      Straightforwardness (arjavam)

10.   Noninjury

11.   Truth (satya)

12.   Absence of wrath (akrodha)

13.   Renunciation (tyaga)

14.   Peace (shanti)

15.   Absence of fault-finding and calumny (apaisunam)

16.   Compassion toward all beings (daya)

17.   Noncovetousness, absence of greed (aloluptvam)

18.   Gentleness (mardavam)

19.   Modesty (hri)

20.   Absence of restlessness (achapalam)

21.   Radiance of character (tejas)

22.   Forgiveness (kshama)

23.   Patience, or fortitude (dhriti),

24.   Cleanness

25.   Nonhatred (adroha)

26.   Lack of conceit (na atimanita)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monkey Bars

 

So much of life is like the monkey bars we used to travel across as children.  We loved the monkey bars – swinging from one bar to the next.  One of the first things we had to learn was to let go of the previous bar – or we could never fully get to the next bar – or the next – or the next.

Now I am considering this analogy of the monkey bars in relationship to emotions. 

On my living room wall there is a quip:

PEACE

To bring peace to

The Earth

Strive to make

Your own life peaceful

*****

Countless people talk about wanting more peace in their lives. 

 How many actually take the steps to create peace?

To have true and lasting peace here is the short list of what needs to be released as we travel the monkey bars of the inner landscape:

Wrath

Greed

Sloth

Pride

Lust

Envy

Gluttony

Fear

 

Looking at this list the releasing and letting go is a daunting task.  It would appear this crossing to peace has countless start points.  There is a sense of overwhelm with even this short list. 

Paramahansa Yogananda* has said, “Everything else can wait, but your search for God cannot wait.”  Yogananda recognized this turning in with prayer and meditation is the start point for changing and moving forward. This means prayer and meditation is a must if we want to free ourselves from the suffering inherent in the desires of this world.  The start to any real and lasting change, the kind that can bring lasting peace, the kind that can mean freedom from Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, or Fear is prayer and meditation.  I cannot teach these things as I do not have these things fully.  Like you I am a work in progress.  Herein I just point the way to those who can help us out  . . .

I had thought that I had outgrown the need or desire to play on the monkey bars.  Guess not.  Seems I am still crossing the monkey bars.  I have just switched to the monkey bars of the inner landscape.  

Lahiri Mahasaya** often said - ‘BANAT BANAT BAN JAI’.   Literally it means “making, making, one day made”    … or in monkey bar lingo …. letting go of the past and making a life of peace moment by moment by moment through the act of “seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be added unto you.”

 

 

*  http://www.yogananda-srf.org/tmp/py_notitle.aspx?id=44&ekmensel=568fab5c_6_13_btnlink#.VCFr3t90zIU

**Lahiri Mahasaya was born on September 30, 1828, in the village of Ghurni in Bengal, India.  As Lahiri Mahasaya exemplified the highest ideals of Yoga, union of the little self with God, he is reverenced as a Yogavatar, or incarnation of Yoga. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BREATH

The Breath may be a conduit for prayer.  Sometimes as a nurse standing at a patient bedside - in the midst of seeming chaos - for just a moment i find that quiet place.  I breath with or for the patient.  Some in prayer can move beyond the breath -  may use the breath as a jump off point to yet deeper prayer.  We do what we can offering ourselves in service to the people and to Creator.

I may not know what is needed.  

I may be helpless to create what I think or intuit the body needs at that moment. 

 However - even if i do not have the words it is possible to use the breath as a medium of transfer - 

sharing LIFE 

sharing LOVE  

sharing PEACE

 

... And then what some would call a miracle can happen....not FROM the small human at the bedside in prayer - but THROUGH that one who has merely stepped out of the way.