LIFE RESOLUTIONS

 

 

Here we go again.  Each year we set new goals.  Each year we make a vow to try harder. We make a vow to be more focused in achieving the goals we set.  Each year we tell ourselves that finally - THIS TIME - we will not give up.  On one hand it is good to not be too hard on ourselves if we are not able to keep the resolve. Making changes to well set habit patterns is not an easy thing. 

However, not being hard on self when the goal is not met is not the same as giving up.  Start over a thousand times – or a thousand times one thousand times if that is what it takes.  If the resolution is honorable … if the resolution brings beauty and balance to life do not give up. 

Though I make numerous and a bit more ‘public’ New Year’s Resolutions each year, I hold closer to my heart a goal set 4 years ago when it became clear to me the need was paramount.  Over and over I have failed to keep the resolution.  Over and over I have reaffirmed the resolution with sincerity.  Inch by inch the journey of 1,000 times 1,000 miles is traversed. 

Here is what I know: 

*I do not know how long it will take. 

*I do not know how many times I will need to start again. 

*I do know I will not give up. 

*I do know the destination is assured. 

It is commendable to make small honorable resolutions and then keep those resolutions.  (Exercise 3 x per week, eat a nutritious breakfast every day, and say please and thank you).  Even small honorable resolutions build toward ‘life resolutions’ which will bring beauty to our lives and the lives of those around us.  

At some point, you might consider actually looking at a LIFE RESOLUTION and making it your own.  You might consider something so magnificent you are humbled to even consider the perhaps daunting task of seeking attunement with the virtue.  There are any number of sources offering possible directions for this life travel.  One I offer here for your consideration is from The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

 

The Blessed Lord said:

 Fearlessness, purity of heart, perseverance in acquiring wisdom and in practicing yoga, charity, subjugation of the senses, performance of holy rites, study of the scriptures, self-discipline, straightforwardness;

 Noninjury, truthfulness, freedom from wrath, renunciation, peacefulness, nonslanderousness, compassion for all creatures, absence of greed, gentleness, modesty, lack of restlessness;

 Radiance of character, forgiveness, patience, cleanness, freedom from hate, absence of conceit—these qualities are the wealth of a divinely inclined person, O Descendant of Bharata.

— The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

In these short stanzas we are given 26 soul qualities which bring transcendent beauty.  Perhaps it is time to set a life goal worthy of one who is in essence Immutable Soul.  Listed in The Gita are SOUL QUALITIES.  Take one on for a year or two or longer.  Even one year of focused intention will change you forever.   

If not now – when will you finally take the first step to achieving your true potential? 

These thoughts are offered not by one who knows all truth but rather by a fellow sojourner on the path.  

 

1.      Fearlessness (abhayam)

2.      Purity of heart (sattva-samshuddhi)

3.      Steadfastness

4.      Almsgiving (dana)

5.      Self-restraint (dama)

6.      Religious rites (yajnas)

7.      Right study of the scriptures (svadhyaya)

8.      Self-discipline (tapas)

9.      Straightforwardness (arjavam)

10.   Noninjury

11.   Truth (satya)

12.   Absence of wrath (akrodha)

13.   Renunciation (tyaga)

14.   Peace (shanti)

15.   Absence of fault-finding and calumny (apaisunam)

16.   Compassion toward all beings (daya)

17.   Noncovetousness, absence of greed (aloluptvam)

18.   Gentleness (mardavam)

19.   Modesty (hri)

20.   Absence of restlessness (achapalam)

21.   Radiance of character (tejas)

22.   Forgiveness (kshama)

23.   Patience, or fortitude (dhriti),

24.   Cleanness

25.   Nonhatred (adroha)

26.   Lack of conceit (na atimanita)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monkey Bars

 

So much of life is like the monkey bars we used to travel across as children.  We loved the monkey bars – swinging from one bar to the next.  One of the first things we had to learn was to let go of the previous bar – or we could never fully get to the next bar – or the next – or the next.

Now I am considering this analogy of the monkey bars in relationship to emotions. 

On my living room wall there is a quip:

PEACE

To bring peace to

The Earth

Strive to make

Your own life peaceful

*****

Countless people talk about wanting more peace in their lives. 

 How many actually take the steps to create peace?

To have true and lasting peace here is the short list of what needs to be released as we travel the monkey bars of the inner landscape:

Wrath

Greed

Sloth

Pride

Lust

Envy

Gluttony

Fear

 

Looking at this list the releasing and letting go is a daunting task.  It would appear this crossing to peace has countless start points.  There is a sense of overwhelm with even this short list. 

Paramahansa Yogananda* has said, “Everything else can wait, but your search for God cannot wait.”  Yogananda recognized this turning in with prayer and meditation is the start point for changing and moving forward. This means prayer and meditation is a must if we want to free ourselves from the suffering inherent in the desires of this world.  The start to any real and lasting change, the kind that can bring lasting peace, the kind that can mean freedom from Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, or Fear is prayer and meditation.  I cannot teach these things as I do not have these things fully.  Like you I am a work in progress.  Herein I just point the way to those who can help us out  . . .

I had thought that I had outgrown the need or desire to play on the monkey bars.  Guess not.  Seems I am still crossing the monkey bars.  I have just switched to the monkey bars of the inner landscape.  

Lahiri Mahasaya** often said - ‘BANAT BANAT BAN JAI’.   Literally it means “making, making, one day made”    … or in monkey bar lingo …. letting go of the past and making a life of peace moment by moment by moment through the act of “seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be added unto you.”

 

 

*  http://www.yogananda-srf.org/tmp/py_notitle.aspx?id=44&ekmensel=568fab5c_6_13_btnlink#.VCFr3t90zIU

**Lahiri Mahasaya was born on September 30, 1828, in the village of Ghurni in Bengal, India.  As Lahiri Mahasaya exemplified the highest ideals of Yoga, union of the little self with God, he is reverenced as a Yogavatar, or incarnation of Yoga. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BREATH

The Breath may be a conduit for prayer.  Sometimes as a nurse standing at a patient bedside - in the midst of seeming chaos - for just a moment i find that quiet place.  I breath with or for the patient.  Some in prayer can move beyond the breath -  may use the breath as a jump off point to yet deeper prayer.  We do what we can offering ourselves in service to the people and to Creator.

I may not know what is needed.  

I may be helpless to create what I think or intuit the body needs at that moment. 

 However - even if i do not have the words it is possible to use the breath as a medium of transfer - 

sharing LIFE 

sharing LOVE  

sharing PEACE

 

... And then what some would call a miracle can happen....not FROM the small human at the bedside in prayer - but THROUGH that one who has merely stepped out of the way.

 

RUMINATING ABOUT THE THREE GUNAS •*ॐ*• or WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO HERE KID

Guṇa : गुण) which means string, a strand of a cord or twine.

There are considered to be three Gunas:

·         Sattva -  सत्त्व  -creation - purity - Liberating thoughts, feelings and actions

·         Rajas -  रजस्) – preservation - responsible for motion, energy and preservation – actions which include the ego and so bind us – this binds us to desire and selfish action binding us to the material world

·         Tamas -  तमस्  - destruction - darkness - laziness and lethargy – this kills our spiritual life

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

This morning as I drove on to the temple grounds I arrived just a little early so I could have a bit of time to meditate before the lecture service.  As I was parking my car I had the thought: maybe I should go to the children’s class and see if the teacher needs any help. 

The thought to see if help was needed - was immediately followed by: if I am really needed, I may miss not only the meditation time but the morning service presentation also – I don’t want to go!!!  Then, in guilt, I tried to rationalize the thought: time in prayer/meditation and listening to service are also very important.  I pointed out to myself the story of Mary and Martha from the Christian Bible as an example of why I should use this time for prayer rather than service (Mary who stayed at the side of Christ focused on eternity and Martha who served in the kitchen focused on the moment). 

Because I still felt guilty about not wanting to help when it might mean giving up meditation/lecture time, I did go check at the classroom to see if I could help but no one had arrived yet.  If I am being honest I felt, ‘phewwww – off the hook’ – ouch - guilt bit me a second time!!!  Choices were becoming muddied by the intertwining of positive and negative motivations. 

It is not surprising, the morning talk was on the three gunas:  Sattva - Rajas – Tamas.  The Brother speaking shared the story of King Yudhishtara and The Mongoose.  Before telling the story, he shared that the mongoose is honored in India as he has saved children from dangerous snakes by killing the snakes:

Once the Mahabharatha war was over, the victorious King Yudhishtara of Hastinapura performed a yagna for the wellbeing of all his subjects. The yagna was conducted lavishly. Precious and expensive gifts were given away to everyone. The yagna was so grand that people would not stop singing praises of it.  The king who had initially had pure intentions when preforming the Yagna began to feel pride.  After the celebration the king was walking thru the area where the celebration had been held and cleanup was underway.  The king came upon a mongoose eating some of the food offerings from the celebration.   It was the strangest mongoose ever. One side of the mongoose looked plain and normal like any other mongoose. However much to the astonishment of everyone, the other side gleamed of pure gold!

The mongoose looked at Yudhishtara and spoke: ‘Please....!' It said disdainfully. 'I can’t even imagine why people insist of calling this a great yagna! Why? This is just a mockery...a show!’ The mongoose shook his head angrily. ‘This is not a yagna!’

Yudhishtara asked, '...why are you saying these things?’

And so the mongoose told him a story.  He told of a poor Brahmin family who gave a sacrifice with great humility and love.   He told how it was in eating the pure offering that his body had turned to gold.  He sadly stated, ‘your offering did not have the purity to change me to gold.’

The king knew the mongoose spoke the truth.  He knew he had let pride come in during the offering and sullied what had started as a pure offering. 

It was then the king looked up and across the field.  He saw his Guru – Krishna.  Running to Krishna he took the dust of his feet.  He saw the error of his ways.

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

Just so, during the lecture I saw the twisting of the gunas in my personal life - - -the twisting of good intention into selfishness.

I continue to learn about the nature of this twisting which twines issue/thought/intention together.  Even in the seemingly small personal situation this morning there is clearly the gunas at play. Immediately I saw the corollary of the story with my little personal ‘drama’ this morning before the service.  In my heart I saw The Master looking at me just as the King saw his Guru looking at him across the distance after the mongoose had spoken with him.

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

·

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

It is not the actual choice I made but rather the attitude motivating that choice which twists the twine - - -  Raveling / Unraveling the karma of lifetimes.  I am told the direction to Creator is the one which unravels - so that we might set ourselves free.  How subtle is this twisting and un-twisting.  How I lie to myself and then to others trying to convince of the virtue and purity of my choices.  How boring I find this drama which is self - created. 

So, I spin one way and then the other – raveling and then unraveling.  Sometimes moving slowly and sometimes quickly towards that place of STILLNESS. 

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

Always moving

Always moving

Until perfect homeostasis found

The Birth of Fear: April 17, 1961

 

 

 

 

On April 17, 1961 the invasion of The Bay of Pigs1 was launched.  This was the beginning of a deep fear in me.  I was almost eleven years old and just starting to have a world view concept.  This was the beginning of feeling there was no ‘safe place’ on the entire earth.  This was the beginning of a fear which was to grow over the years and drive much of my life.  My parents, my friend’s parents and my neighbors were all glued to the TV sets as they and the commentators were verbalizing their fears and concerns.  The TV commentators were giving update after update each one more dire than the one previous.

In 1963 I was in the 7^th grade at El Segundo Junior High School on the west coast of California.  I remember walking from west to east across the lunch court.  The court was empty and I was walking between classes while ruminating on the recent news on the television about people building fallout shelters in the home and those without access to fallout shelters being taught (again) in the schools about ‘drop and cover’ techniques. We did practice ‘drop and cover’ in school.  We all pretty much knew that the drop and cover would not save us from a nuclear attack (which we believed was imminent).  My parents felt that building a shelter was foolish as who would want to live in a world after The Bomb.  I remember stopping and looking around the empty court wondering, ‘where can I go to be safe?’ I certainly knew that under any of these tables there was no safety to be found even though that is what I was being taught to do.  I did believe that there must be a safe place to go and I was determined to find that place.

In more recent years, added to the threat of us destroying one another thru wars came in rumblings from The Mother Earth herself.  We had so abused her it was becoming necessary for her to begin making adjustments to obtain balance / homeostasis.  Earthquakes, Tornados, Hurricanes and other events were on the increase.  Climate change was now a recognized and accepted reality.  Related to the North American continent the Native Americans who describe this land as Turtle Island tell us that as predicted long ago by the grammas’ and grampas’:  the turtle is beginning to go back under the water – the shore lines are no longer safe.  For this reason many are choosing to move away from shore lines: some a few miles and others thousands of miles.  Perhaps there is more safety as the turtle goes under to be on the top middle of the turtle's back; however major bomb silos are also housed in the middle of her back. (Just because it is a bit safer from the raging of The Mother Kali along the coast does not mean it is really safe anywhere.) 

 



 

 

Ultimately – there is no place which promises physical safety.  Coming to understand this has not been so much a giving up of hope as a releasing of fear.   The only place any of us can truly live is RIGHT HERE and RIGHT THIS MOMENT.  This is not to say I do not make plans for creating a safe environment – I do.       

The primary priority now is creating and being peaceful on the inner landscape of my thoughts and feelings.  Perhaps this is a luxury which comes with age.  I hold little hope for a peaceful world for the humans and others over the next 100 or 300 years, as we continue to conduct ourselves overall in a barbaric and selfish manner.  I do believe some will survive and that 1,000 years from now we may indeed return to the garden. 

 

 

 

 

1.       Link to public history of the Bay of Pigs from the JFK Library  http://www.jfklibrary.org/JFK/JFK-in-History/The-Bay-of-Pigs.aspx   

Second Verse Same as The First

At the ripe old age of 28 when most are still jumping into this life, I was considering, ‘what is this earth life – do I want to continue in this life?’  The pain (not personal but rather that pain which pervades earth life) was excruciating.  I actually spent time with a counselor trying to sort out my feelings related to not being in the earth life versus being in this earth life.  I was not afraid of dying and I was not suicidal – I just saw the impermanent nature of this earth life wherein everything changes and questioned – ‘do I want to fully be born into this life?’  I felt like I was in a cocoon and not fully born.  I watched and heard others speak and act out ‘life’ and knew my experience was very different.   Ultimately I decided to ‘take the curriculum’ – I convinced myself it was a virtue to see what it was like to be a human who is doing, feeling and being.

•*ॐ*•

I still question if I made the correct choice.

•*ॐ*•

We are told by some there are no wrong choices and it is all a part of the journey.  On one hand this may be true.  I wanted to know what it was like to be in this earth fully.  Now I know.  I am thinking if I had not made some of the choices that more fully brought me into the earth, I might still have the seed desires which led me to choose what I saw as ‘taking the curriculum’  pulling at me until fulfilled  - and so I might not be any better off by abstinence.  On the other hand, I am pretty sure I have created new or deepened the previous samsara* tracts thru my choices. 

Now after countless years, tears and yes fears – I see all that I gave up to travel the path of this earth life – yet – clearly I had DESIRE and I followed that desire and took the journey both inner and outer across The Turtle Island. 

Would I have had the discrimination at 28 to consciously choose another pathway?  I think not.  Now at 64 I am just beginning to scratch the surface of creating discrimination in my choices rather than following desire where it led. All those years ago I sought to convince myself that desire is synonymous with needed curriculum.  It was popular at that time to say: this earth is a schoolroom - take the lessons.  My error was believing that chasing desire was taking the lesson. 

Perhaps next time the issue comes up there will also be discrimination coupled with perseverance to make choices which bring goodness to my life and the lives of others.  My prayer at this time is to live long enough to clear out the newly created and perhaps previous life karma still tagging along.  This one is grateful for each day which brings new opportunity to turn yet more fully to The Light.   

Chopping wood . . .

Carrying the water . . .

 

*sam•sa•ra  (səmˈsɑr ə) 

 1.  (in Buddhism) the process of coming into existence as a differentiated, mortal creature.

 2.  (in Hinduism) the endless series of births, deaths, and rebirths to which all beings are subject.

[1885–90; < Skt samsāra literally, running together]