TRAVEL PLANS

i was always MAKING PLANS . . . this is how i lived most of my life ........ with lists and plans stretching years and years in advance and now, to the query: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? The answer is:

i am not sure

or

where the winds of the four directions and the little whirlwind takes me.

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The best laid schemes of Mice and Men

oft go awry,

And leave us nothing but grief and pain,

For promised joy.

- - - Robert Burns - - -

Salt Water -

Amniotic fluid of Mother Earth

In two weeks i am out of Florida. You might think i am being chased out by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and the true disaster that is still impending as a result , however my plans to leave were made long before the BP oil fiasco. First conscious plans to leave florida occurred in 2005. However, in 2005, i was not willing to do what needed to be done to get moving. Now i have chosen to give away, throw away and sell anything i could not fit into a little 10 x 10 storage space.

It is not that i am looking for a SAFE PLACE. There may not be any place safe from the selfish motives of the two-leggeds. (i do not let myself off the hook here. Part of what is driving me at this time is seeking to move away from my own selfishness.) Actually, i think i am moving away from safety in the traditional sense. After a life time of seeking safety, this is no longer my prime focus.

I had thought that Florida with it's shifting sands was a place with no solid ground for me. That is true. But it may also be that by the very nature of this unfolding and transformation, the shifting sands will be where i am, no matter the physical location. So, we are back to homeostasis. The theme of this period. Homeostasis, the moving and ever shifting balance. Homeostasis, never the same, always changing.

The homeostasis of the Gulf of Mexico and the land masses surrounding her are in grave danger. Say prayers. Pray hard. The Mother is suffering. The salt water is the amniotic fluid of the Mother Earth and it is being filled with substances never meant to mix with water. Without healthy amniotic fluid The Mother will not be able to bring forth new life.

Start now, breathing in the suffering and breathing in the beauty. It is all there. Return the suffering transformed to love. Return the beauty unadultered and perfect. Be the conduit - be the hollow bone. Let your breath be your prayer. It is that simple. It is not big words or long sentences that make the prayer. The prayer is our life and our life runs on the breath.

I can not even come up with a title for this one

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After a life time of BELIEVING. Dropping belief. No longer believe that there is any solid ground under my feet. No longer believe there will ever be a way to get solid ground under my feet. No longer believe there is even such a thing as solid ground. Homeostasis is the foundation. Homeostasis is a dance. Reason is illusion. Security is a made up word. This one has given up on making sense out of the chaos.

A great and ancient stone knife is cutting through the middle of all things - cutting through the midde of the one doing this writing. Digging and looking - but not seeing anything. In utter darkness and blinding light.

Living in two worlds and now neither one makes sense. Living between the two realities is tearing apart EVERYTHING. No longer having any desire to hold IT together. No longer looking for life to make sense. Running screaming naked and exposed. There is not even a man behind the curtain to blame IT on.

How have those who have come before survived this great and awe-ful tearing apart? This has no reference point.

The scam perpetrated on all of us is tremendous.

Don't follow me, i don't know where i am going. I do know there is tremendous power here but it is all chaotic. I am dangerous. Look out.

i am not manic. i am not depressed. i am not delusional. i am crazy. i am peaceful. i am ordinary.

Maybe i will wake up tomorrow in suberbia in a lounge chair with an umbrella drink in my hand. Maybe but i doubt it.

Great hooves thundering across the plains. The whole earth is shaking now. They are coming.

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Don't be afraid to cry.

It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts.

-attributed to the Hopi

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Our first teacher is our own heart.

-attributed to the Cheyenne

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You can't wake a person

who is pretending to sleep.

-attributed to the Dine'

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When a man moves away from nature

his heart becomes hard.

-attributed to the Lakota

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STILL BREATHING

So that is something. i am Still Breathing.

I disagree with Maslow' Hierarchy of needs related to HOMEOSTASIS.

Homeostasis should be simultaneously on the bottom (physiological) and the top (self actualization).

Maybe more on this later. Maybe not.

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"The first peace, which is the most important is

that which comes within the souls of people

when they realize their relationship,

their oneness with the universe and all its powers

and when they realize that at the center of the universe

dwells Wakan Tanka

and this center is really everywhere,

it is within each of us."

Black Elk