CONTROL Intellectually i know IT is about letting go of micromanagement control. The heart clearly knows it is about letting go of this kind of control. IT being this dance in and through life here on Turtle Island. Trying to totally manage the chaos actually prevents homeostasis. Being able to dance and move with changes to maintain balance sometimes requires pre-conscious level choices ... letting go of control. There is a choice: MAINTAIN CONTROL which brings with it nervousness, anxiety and the uneasy gut ... or ... LETTING GO OF CONTROL and being flowing and alive in the moment. Being in human form, there is usually a level of moving between the two. How good it feels to let go and be in the moment: breathing in the living air of the Mother Earth, drinking her water of life, letting the day take care of itself. i have a feeling (which may or may not be accurate) to completely relinquish control may be to also relinquish this human life. So it is a balance. Breathing in. Breathing out. Taking in. Giving out. Taking control. Releasing control. The suffering is as beautiful and the joy. The night as beautiful as the day. The poignant sweetness of this life brings gratitude. A family member made the journey yesterday. While here on The Mother he embraced Her and all of Her Gifts with love and a thankful heart. He took care of business and he gave his life to prayer. He loved his wife and he loved his daughter. He called things as he saw them and was honest in a refreshing way. He moved into the direction of his heart with intention. When he saw the direction was set to journey, he went with the flow. He did not seek to control this thing. He laid down prayers and went with the flow. We will miss you dear one. We are grateful we were able to spend some time with you. Your bravery is an example to emulate.

With love and respect ... Wopila / Thank You ... Good Journey

DARING It is NOT about clean edges. It is NOT about keeping safe. It is about daring to be real and authentic. It is about throwing away the morays of right and wrong set by society and flying the colors of Creation and Creator. This scares me more than i have words .... and that being said .... at this point NOT following the dictates of spirit scares me even more. Basically flying blind with unfolding from moment - to moment - to moment. Do i hear Creation clearly? This one likely misses the target numerous times. i just keep resetting and adjusting direction and intention over and over and over.

I didn't trust it for a moment, but I drank it anyway, the wine of my own poetry. It gave me the daring to take hold of the darkness and tear it down and cut it into little pieces.

--Lalla, Contemporary of Hafiz

LIFE

It is all about the breathe. Breathing in. Breathing out. As i sit here holding a baby not yet 4 days old. Listening to the breathe moving in and out. Moving out and in. What do we breathe in and out? For humans on the mechanical level there is gas exchange / ventilation carried out by the actions of the heart and lungs and then disbursed by the circulatory system. Breathe transports oxygen into the body and takes carbon dioxide out of the body. Here is what is also happening right now between this little one and i - the little one is breathing the flavor of me in along with the oxygen and then the little one is releasing out not only carbon dioxide but the flavor of self which i then take in. We are getting to know one another. This little one and i are also breathing in, listening to life through the breathe. We are breathing in all that is happening around us. We are one with all of Creation through the breathe. Creation is taking us in also. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED on a very basic and fundamental level. There is no way to not be connected. We can be out of touch and not be aware of that connection. However, that connection to all that IS continues unabated despite not having conscious awareness. We breathe in and out joy. We breathe in and out suffering. Life is a dynamic and continuous seeking of homeostasis. It is all about balance. This is a very intimate exchange and yet we are without awareness for the most part of this very intimate and continuous exchange. This exchange, this seeking of balance is love. Some say the only thing we really have to give in this life is our body. This is true. However, we also have a choice as to what is given with this body. Each breathe is potentially a prayer. Through the breathe we can connect - be a conduit - be a hollow bone. Is your breathe a prayer to be a hollow bone for love and balance?

ONE BREATHE AT A TIME WE CAN OFFER OURSEVES WE CAN OFFER OUR LIFE AS A GIFT TO OUR RELATIVES

THINKING I have been doing IT again - thinking. It does have it's place. However, so often this one puts thinking where feeling is really what is needed. Logical deductive reasoning which the European construct is so fond of using does have it's place - however - it is optimally a small side car to the life lived and pulled out only as needed. Is all this blogging THINKING? OH YA - at least a thread to connect to words and then place those words in an order to be understood. There is no getting around it. To be here on Turtle Island requires some thinking. Watching my communication with others of late, i see much has come from thinking through issues. This thinking creates foolishness when used to excess. Looking back over the last few days i see i have thought and sadly shared much which is foolishness. Pontificating as though what is being said by this one is actual substance when it is bovine scat. Oh my. Apologies need to be made for putting those i love through THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ME.

. . . sorry . . .

Perhaps this is yet another issue related to being in human form . . . this separation from source wherein communication has a component of thinking along with the feeling. It seems we must spend scads of time forgiving self or we will be building up a big pile to be climbed over before real communication can occur. On the other hand, maybe this thinking is okay. It is what it is. Continuing on . . .

STILL BREATHING

KNOWING We know what is so clearly. Yet we insist on pretending we do not know. Why do we do this? Think about it honestly - it is very rare for you to be really surprised by events. You pretend to be surprised but you are not really surprised - except in rare circumstances. Sometimes truth comes quiet but often she comes like a great crow cawing loudly and looming large in the tree next to you. Even when crow does come quiet like the dark of her night feathers, she is after all a creature of the day and can be clearly seen if we will only look and see. We have agreed to dance. We have agreed to dance with our partners, friends, family. Even those we meet only one time and never again we have agreed to this dance with them. We agreed to be born into this life. The Mother Earth welcomes us. We are her children. In dreamtime some years back i was shown / given a message which i continue to carry with me: I am in a high place with my family. We all love each other very much and know we are family. There is no one and there is no thing that is not family. We are all connected. We are all related. The Teacher asks us if we will enact a play. We all agree to be in this play. Some of us will play the part of 'bad guy' and some of us will play the part of 'good guy'. We are all admonished to remember - "This is only a play. It is not real. We are all family." The play begins. I am given the part with some of the family to be a human type creature but with wings to fly high in the sun light. Other family members are like great slugs who move through the mud in the deep places of the earth and never see the sun. As part of this great play we are to 'pretend' to be enemies. We are to pretend to fight one another as the light opposing the dark. In the beginning i remember and know that those slug people are my beloved family. However, somewhere along the way i forget. Somewhere along the way i come to think that i am a beautiful being of light and they are ugly creatures of dark to be destroyed. Then in a twinkling the play is over. The teacher is so sad. Many of us forgot it was only a play. We did not just pretend to attempt to destroy each other. From the deep places of our being we really tried to end the existence of the the other. How often do we bury our knowing of truth? How often do we forget that we are family so we can make it 'okay' to take from one another without concern for how the other is affected? This one has lived a gluttonous life. How long will i pretend to not know truth? Again the commitment is made to walk with you as family. Please forgive me, i forget.

Mitakuye Oyasin All My Relations