UNDER★THE★VAULT OF HEAVEN

It is so hard to believe, some might actually choose a manufactured world over the natural world consistently without hesitation.  This is not to say I do not appreciate the amenities of the manufactured world.  To be in a warm shower with pure water pouring over a tired body is heaven after a few weeks wherein a bath has consisted of a damp cloth run across the limbs that comes back covered in soil.  This being said, as the water cleanses the body one finds that the heart and mind is often still and quiet with memories of being on the open land far from city lights and sounds.

I remember back in the day married to my first husband. We were driving down a highway in Southern California. I was in the passenger seat and looking out to the right at a wide expanse of untouched land - verdant / full of life. . . I said. . 'Isn’t it beautiful!' --- My then husband agreed wholeheartedly. I looked over at him and saw he was looking across the left side of the road to sterile new high rise office buildings lined up like dominos. - - - I never said anything-- what was there to say. . .

Growing up in a small town on the coast of Southern California in middle 1950s there was still much open land – fields wild with life.  I was the child who all in the neighborhood knew to find among the wild things.  I was the one who lived in the tree tops.  When I woke in the morning in the summer time, if my mom was not taking my brother and me along with all the neighbor kids to the beach I might choose to play with my toys, play tag with the neighbor kids or read one of the 6 books my mother allowed me to check out from the library every 2 weeks (though I was more likely to read after the sun was down than when sunlight was burning). 

However, I would just as likely pack a lunch and head for a family of old oak trees.  The branches reached out and touched one another and I could climb from one tree to the other without touching the earth.  My fondest memories of childhood always included time with the trees.  Time would fly by in the trees and before I knew it the sun was setting and it was time to head for home.  This was before cell phones and worries about strangers – the simple rule of summer was: be home in time for dinner.  I do not remember many thoughts from this time in the trees  -  however the feeling of peace and joy are viscerally strong memories.  I do remember how time would fly by and the sun which had been in the eastern sky would magically be in the western sky.

Climbing trees is no longer an effortless and easy task as the years begin to weigh on this body – however – to lay my head against a trunk of one of the old ones can still bring the peace and joy and we can know we are …

ONE Heart

ONE Mind

ONE Body

LIFE RESOLUTIONS

 

 

Here we go again.  Each year we set new goals.  Each year we make a vow to try harder. We make a vow to be more focused in achieving the goals we set.  Each year we tell ourselves that finally - THIS TIME - we will not give up.  On one hand it is good to not be too hard on ourselves if we are not able to keep the resolve. Making changes to well set habit patterns is not an easy thing. 

However, not being hard on self when the goal is not met is not the same as giving up.  Start over a thousand times – or a thousand times one thousand times if that is what it takes.  If the resolution is honorable … if the resolution brings beauty and balance to life do not give up. 

Though I make numerous and a bit more ‘public’ New Year’s Resolutions each year, I hold closer to my heart a goal set 4 years ago when it became clear to me the need was paramount.  Over and over I have failed to keep the resolution.  Over and over I have reaffirmed the resolution with sincerity.  Inch by inch the journey of 1,000 times 1,000 miles is traversed. 

Here is what I know: 

*I do not know how long it will take. 

*I do not know how many times I will need to start again. 

*I do know I will not give up. 

*I do know the destination is assured. 

It is commendable to make small honorable resolutions and then keep those resolutions.  (Exercise 3 x per week, eat a nutritious breakfast every day, and say please and thank you).  Even small honorable resolutions build toward ‘life resolutions’ which will bring beauty to our lives and the lives of those around us.  

At some point, you might consider actually looking at a LIFE RESOLUTION and making it your own.  You might consider something so magnificent you are humbled to even consider the perhaps daunting task of seeking attunement with the virtue.  There are any number of sources offering possible directions for this life travel.  One I offer here for your consideration is from The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

 

The Blessed Lord said:

 Fearlessness, purity of heart, perseverance in acquiring wisdom and in practicing yoga, charity, subjugation of the senses, performance of holy rites, study of the scriptures, self-discipline, straightforwardness;

 Noninjury, truthfulness, freedom from wrath, renunciation, peacefulness, nonslanderousness, compassion for all creatures, absence of greed, gentleness, modesty, lack of restlessness;

 Radiance of character, forgiveness, patience, cleanness, freedom from hate, absence of conceit—these qualities are the wealth of a divinely inclined person, O Descendant of Bharata.

— The Bhagavad Gita XVI:1-3

In these short stanzas we are given 26 soul qualities which bring transcendent beauty.  Perhaps it is time to set a life goal worthy of one who is in essence Immutable Soul.  Listed in The Gita are SOUL QUALITIES.  Take one on for a year or two or longer.  Even one year of focused intention will change you forever.   

If not now – when will you finally take the first step to achieving your true potential? 

These thoughts are offered not by one who knows all truth but rather by a fellow sojourner on the path.  

 

1.      Fearlessness (abhayam)

2.      Purity of heart (sattva-samshuddhi)

3.      Steadfastness

4.      Almsgiving (dana)

5.      Self-restraint (dama)

6.      Religious rites (yajnas)

7.      Right study of the scriptures (svadhyaya)

8.      Self-discipline (tapas)

9.      Straightforwardness (arjavam)

10.   Noninjury

11.   Truth (satya)

12.   Absence of wrath (akrodha)

13.   Renunciation (tyaga)

14.   Peace (shanti)

15.   Absence of fault-finding and calumny (apaisunam)

16.   Compassion toward all beings (daya)

17.   Noncovetousness, absence of greed (aloluptvam)

18.   Gentleness (mardavam)

19.   Modesty (hri)

20.   Absence of restlessness (achapalam)

21.   Radiance of character (tejas)

22.   Forgiveness (kshama)

23.   Patience, or fortitude (dhriti),

24.   Cleanness

25.   Nonhatred (adroha)

26.   Lack of conceit (na atimanita)

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BREATH

The Breath may be a conduit for prayer.  Sometimes as a nurse standing at a patient bedside - in the midst of seeming chaos - for just a moment i find that quiet place.  I breath with or for the patient.  Some in prayer can move beyond the breath -  may use the breath as a jump off point to yet deeper prayer.  We do what we can offering ourselves in service to the people and to Creator.

I may not know what is needed.  

I may be helpless to create what I think or intuit the body needs at that moment. 

 However - even if i do not have the words it is possible to use the breath as a medium of transfer - 

sharing LIFE 

sharing LOVE  

sharing PEACE

 

... And then what some would call a miracle can happen....not FROM the small human at the bedside in prayer - but THROUGH that one who has merely stepped out of the way.

 

Second Verse Same as The First

At the ripe old age of 28 when most are still jumping into this life, I was considering, ‘what is this earth life – do I want to continue in this life?’  The pain (not personal but rather that pain which pervades earth life) was excruciating.  I actually spent time with a counselor trying to sort out my feelings related to not being in the earth life versus being in this earth life.  I was not afraid of dying and I was not suicidal – I just saw the impermanent nature of this earth life wherein everything changes and questioned – ‘do I want to fully be born into this life?’  I felt like I was in a cocoon and not fully born.  I watched and heard others speak and act out ‘life’ and knew my experience was very different.   Ultimately I decided to ‘take the curriculum’ – I convinced myself it was a virtue to see what it was like to be a human who is doing, feeling and being.

•*ॐ*•

I still question if I made the correct choice.

•*ॐ*•

We are told by some there are no wrong choices and it is all a part of the journey.  On one hand this may be true.  I wanted to know what it was like to be in this earth fully.  Now I know.  I am thinking if I had not made some of the choices that more fully brought me into the earth, I might still have the seed desires which led me to choose what I saw as ‘taking the curriculum’  pulling at me until fulfilled  - and so I might not be any better off by abstinence.  On the other hand, I am pretty sure I have created new or deepened the previous samsara* tracts thru my choices. 

Now after countless years, tears and yes fears – I see all that I gave up to travel the path of this earth life – yet – clearly I had DESIRE and I followed that desire and took the journey both inner and outer across The Turtle Island. 

Would I have had the discrimination at 28 to consciously choose another pathway?  I think not.  Now at 64 I am just beginning to scratch the surface of creating discrimination in my choices rather than following desire where it led. All those years ago I sought to convince myself that desire is synonymous with needed curriculum.  It was popular at that time to say: this earth is a schoolroom - take the lessons.  My error was believing that chasing desire was taking the lesson. 

Perhaps next time the issue comes up there will also be discrimination coupled with perseverance to make choices which bring goodness to my life and the lives of others.  My prayer at this time is to live long enough to clear out the newly created and perhaps previous life karma still tagging along.  This one is grateful for each day which brings new opportunity to turn yet more fully to The Light.   

Chopping wood . . .

Carrying the water . . .

 

*sam•sa•ra  (səmˈsɑr ə) 

 1.  (in Buddhism) the process of coming into existence as a differentiated, mortal creature.

 2.  (in Hinduism) the endless series of births, deaths, and rebirths to which all beings are subject.

[1885–90; < Skt samsāra literally, running together]

 

LIVING IN A CIRCLE vs GOING IN CIRCLES

Choosing to walk the spiritual life is a path wherein we are not able to let ourselves OFF THE HOOK ever again. We can no longer be victims of others or our own urges. This word victim must be erased from our vocabulary. Nothing is 'done' to us. Life IS. On the surface it may not appear to be gentle. Indeed on the surface it is not gentle. However, these not gentle occurances are not to hurt us so much as to crack open the seeds of THANK YOU buried deep inside of each of us. This 'thank you' includes inherent in it's nature a deep visceral desire to give back to life.

Like the seed breaking through the soil to reach for the sky and become ........ a flower, a tree or a blade of grass ....... this seeking of the full life leads us to push aside what is in the way of this growth and inexorably we move to the light.

As we mature, the rules change and we become accountable for everything we SAY.... everything we THINK.... and everthing we DO. There comes a time when the unconscious pushing of personal agenda ceases to be a priority. There comes a time when continued pushing of personal agenda leads us into the dark and not the light we deeply crave. The flower when she has reached maturity gives her beauty and sweet scent to all, with-holding from none! The tree when he is mature offers shade and and drops his leaves as mulch for future growth! The grass when mature offers a soft bed to lay upon! No one and no thing is denied the gifts we are given to share if we have allowed ourselves to grow in a good way.

At some point, we two-leggeds get to choose if we will continue to move towards the light, which in maturity includes sharing the gifts we have been given ... or continue to seek only for the small self, which though appropriate at first ultimately turns us in on ourselves and moves us into deeper and deeper dark.

**********

Will we live in a Circle wherein as we take we also give freely? Or will we spin out of control seeking to draw into ourselves like the tornado or hurricane, destroying that which we draw in, so we can not fully use the gifts which life brings?

**********

LIFE

It is all about the breathe. Breathing in. Breathing out. As i sit here holding a baby not yet 4 days old. Listening to the breathe moving in and out. Moving out and in. What do we breathe in and out? For humans on the mechanical level there is gas exchange / ventilation carried out by the actions of the heart and lungs and then disbursed by the circulatory system. Breathe transports oxygen into the body and takes carbon dioxide out of the body. Here is what is also happening right now between this little one and i - the little one is breathing the flavor of me in along with the oxygen and then the little one is releasing out not only carbon dioxide but the flavor of self which i then take in. We are getting to know one another. This little one and i are also breathing in, listening to life through the breathe. We are breathing in all that is happening around us. We are one with all of Creation through the breathe. Creation is taking us in also. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED on a very basic and fundamental level. There is no way to not be connected. We can be out of touch and not be aware of that connection. However, that connection to all that IS continues unabated despite not having conscious awareness. We breathe in and out joy. We breathe in and out suffering. Life is a dynamic and continuous seeking of homeostasis. It is all about balance. This is a very intimate exchange and yet we are without awareness for the most part of this very intimate and continuous exchange. This exchange, this seeking of balance is love. Some say the only thing we really have to give in this life is our body. This is true. However, we also have a choice as to what is given with this body. Each breathe is potentially a prayer. Through the breathe we can connect - be a conduit - be a hollow bone. Is your breathe a prayer to be a hollow bone for love and balance?

ONE BREATHE AT A TIME WE CAN OFFER OURSEVES WE CAN OFFER OUR LIFE AS A GIFT TO OUR RELATIVES