The Birth of Fear: April 17, 1961

 

 

 

 

On April 17, 1961 the invasion of The Bay of Pigs1 was launched.  This was the beginning of a deep fear in me.  I was almost eleven years old and just starting to have a world view concept.  This was the beginning of feeling there was no ‘safe place’ on the entire earth.  This was the beginning of a fear which was to grow over the years and drive much of my life.  My parents, my friend’s parents and my neighbors were all glued to the TV sets as they and the commentators were verbalizing their fears and concerns.  The TV commentators were giving update after update each one more dire than the one previous.

In 1963 I was in the 7^th grade at El Segundo Junior High School on the west coast of California.  I remember walking from west to east across the lunch court.  The court was empty and I was walking between classes while ruminating on the recent news on the television about people building fallout shelters in the home and those without access to fallout shelters being taught (again) in the schools about ‘drop and cover’ techniques. We did practice ‘drop and cover’ in school.  We all pretty much knew that the drop and cover would not save us from a nuclear attack (which we believed was imminent).  My parents felt that building a shelter was foolish as who would want to live in a world after The Bomb.  I remember stopping and looking around the empty court wondering, ‘where can I go to be safe?’ I certainly knew that under any of these tables there was no safety to be found even though that is what I was being taught to do.  I did believe that there must be a safe place to go and I was determined to find that place.

In more recent years, added to the threat of us destroying one another thru wars came in rumblings from The Mother Earth herself.  We had so abused her it was becoming necessary for her to begin making adjustments to obtain balance / homeostasis.  Earthquakes, Tornados, Hurricanes and other events were on the increase.  Climate change was now a recognized and accepted reality.  Related to the North American continent the Native Americans who describe this land as Turtle Island tell us that as predicted long ago by the grammas’ and grampas’:  the turtle is beginning to go back under the water – the shore lines are no longer safe.  For this reason many are choosing to move away from shore lines: some a few miles and others thousands of miles.  Perhaps there is more safety as the turtle goes under to be on the top middle of the turtle's back; however major bomb silos are also housed in the middle of her back. (Just because it is a bit safer from the raging of The Mother Kali along the coast does not mean it is really safe anywhere.) 

 



 

 

Ultimately – there is no place which promises physical safety.  Coming to understand this has not been so much a giving up of hope as a releasing of fear.   The only place any of us can truly live is RIGHT HERE and RIGHT THIS MOMENT.  This is not to say I do not make plans for creating a safe environment – I do.       

The primary priority now is creating and being peaceful on the inner landscape of my thoughts and feelings.  Perhaps this is a luxury which comes with age.  I hold little hope for a peaceful world for the humans and others over the next 100 or 300 years, as we continue to conduct ourselves overall in a barbaric and selfish manner.  I do believe some will survive and that 1,000 years from now we may indeed return to the garden. 

 

 

 

 

1.       Link to public history of the Bay of Pigs from the JFK Library  http://www.jfklibrary.org/JFK/JFK-in-History/The-Bay-of-Pigs.aspx   

Salt Water -

Amniotic fluid of Mother Earth

In two weeks i am out of Florida. You might think i am being chased out by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and the true disaster that is still impending as a result , however my plans to leave were made long before the BP oil fiasco. First conscious plans to leave florida occurred in 2005. However, in 2005, i was not willing to do what needed to be done to get moving. Now i have chosen to give away, throw away and sell anything i could not fit into a little 10 x 10 storage space.

It is not that i am looking for a SAFE PLACE. There may not be any place safe from the selfish motives of the two-leggeds. (i do not let myself off the hook here. Part of what is driving me at this time is seeking to move away from my own selfishness.) Actually, i think i am moving away from safety in the traditional sense. After a life time of seeking safety, this is no longer my prime focus.

I had thought that Florida with it's shifting sands was a place with no solid ground for me. That is true. But it may also be that by the very nature of this unfolding and transformation, the shifting sands will be where i am, no matter the physical location. So, we are back to homeostasis. The theme of this period. Homeostasis, the moving and ever shifting balance. Homeostasis, never the same, always changing.

The homeostasis of the Gulf of Mexico and the land masses surrounding her are in grave danger. Say prayers. Pray hard. The Mother is suffering. The salt water is the amniotic fluid of the Mother Earth and it is being filled with substances never meant to mix with water. Without healthy amniotic fluid The Mother will not be able to bring forth new life.

Start now, breathing in the suffering and breathing in the beauty. It is all there. Return the suffering transformed to love. Return the beauty unadultered and perfect. Be the conduit - be the hollow bone. Let your breath be your prayer. It is that simple. It is not big words or long sentences that make the prayer. The prayer is our life and our life runs on the breath.

CONTROL Intellectually i know IT is about letting go of micromanagement control. The heart clearly knows it is about letting go of this kind of control. IT being this dance in and through life here on Turtle Island. Trying to totally manage the chaos actually prevents homeostasis. Being able to dance and move with changes to maintain balance sometimes requires pre-conscious level choices ... letting go of control. There is a choice: MAINTAIN CONTROL which brings with it nervousness, anxiety and the uneasy gut ... or ... LETTING GO OF CONTROL and being flowing and alive in the moment. Being in human form, there is usually a level of moving between the two. How good it feels to let go and be in the moment: breathing in the living air of the Mother Earth, drinking her water of life, letting the day take care of itself. i have a feeling (which may or may not be accurate) to completely relinquish control may be to also relinquish this human life. So it is a balance. Breathing in. Breathing out. Taking in. Giving out. Taking control. Releasing control. The suffering is as beautiful and the joy. The night as beautiful as the day. The poignant sweetness of this life brings gratitude. A family member made the journey yesterday. While here on The Mother he embraced Her and all of Her Gifts with love and a thankful heart. He took care of business and he gave his life to prayer. He loved his wife and he loved his daughter. He called things as he saw them and was honest in a refreshing way. He moved into the direction of his heart with intention. When he saw the direction was set to journey, he went with the flow. He did not seek to control this thing. He laid down prayers and went with the flow. We will miss you dear one. We are grateful we were able to spend some time with you. Your bravery is an example to emulate.

With love and respect ... Wopila / Thank You ... Good Journey