Anger so easily wells up in me. I have so far to go to be in that balanced place
of PEACE and LOVE. Feeling anger as it starts to
build in my belly, I simultaneously see ego there trying to maintain control
and power, trying to prevent humiliation (thru loss of power and control). Thank you to all the good teachers who have
shown thru examples both good (being peace) and bad (caught in ego).
Making many promises of doing good, doing what is right and
being a warrior for positive change in The Earth. My Teacher looking at me with calm compassion,
dismissing my promises said “Don’t get angry anymore.” I have not kept any of my grandiose
promises. I have tried and tried and
tried to not get angry anymore and still the worst enemy I fight is anger. Angry with oh so many of the outside factors
pressing in on me, it is the inside issue of anger coming back again and again
which at this point leaves me feeling devastated.
Having spent 63 summers in The Earth, I feel like a complete
failure. The one thing the teacher has
asked of me, the one thing The Teacher requests and I fail repeatedly.
There is a part of me seeking to bring long vision and logic
in. I tell self: this feeling of
worthlessness and failure will pass. As
you all know, when in the middle of that feeling, that is all there is for
us. There is no apparent ‘light at the
end of the tunnel.’
“Don’t get angry anymore.”
“Don’t get angry anymore.”
“Don’t get angry anymore.”
“Don’t get angry anymore.”
When The Teacher requested this of me, I thought. That is easy.
If that is all you want, consider it done. Then, for a day it was easy. Now three years later, it is clearly not so
easy. Wanting to run away and hide from
what is predominating. Not to get away
from what makes me angry. Wanting to get
away from me as this whole mellow-drama of the LIFE OF ME is boring and selfish
beyond ability to measure.
There is no way out of this dilemma except to walk thru the
fire. Do the work and stop getting angry.
Time to change the focus from Poor Pitiful Me to the place
it has belonged all along Taking Care of The People. There is no person who has been or will be on
The Earth who is not suffering.
So I am dealing with anger.
So what. Join the club.
Time to just do the work that is given to me to do.
Interesting . . Had
thought the topic was going to be anger, but it ends up being selfishness. Without selfishness there would be no
anger. The selfish nature feeds many painful feelings including anger.
✫*¨`*✶♪.¸ ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻ ... ✫*¨`*
✶♪.¸¸.✻ ღϠ₡ღ✻ ...
✫*¨`*✶♪.¸ ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
"God feels no
anger, no matter how many times we err.
He is the
Fountainhead of limitless, unconditional love."
--From the book
"Moments of Truth" by Paramahansa Yogananda
✫*¨`*✶♪.¸ ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻ ... ✫*¨`*
✶♪.¸¸.✻ ღϠ₡ღ✻ ...
✫*¨`*✶♪.¸ ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
a video to consider listening to
Put a Little Love in Your Heart
