THANK YOU FOR UNANSWERED PRAYERS

I remember a time when I thought The Power of The Universe was like a shop keeper to be bargained with.

I would promise my goodness and obedient child demeanor in exchange for the many bright colored gifts I wanted to possess.

I would promise times of prayer and meditation and acts of kindness in exchange for happiness, I thought could be achieved through the acquisition of SOMETHING.

Happiness was seen as material possessions which shined and sparkled on my arm jingling as I moved drawing the envious eyes of all.

Or it was seen as acres on acres of verdant land spanning ocean, forest, valley and hill-lands further than the eye could see, again creating envy and desire in others.

And these objects of happiness included the hearts of others, which I esteemed so little I actually thought I could own them through their envy.

Yes, the ownership of others loyalty, love and adoration focused on what I saw as THE ME which was at the pinnacle of my prayers.

Who did I think I was?

How fortunate this life has proven to be. .  . 

The Divine knows me better than I know myself and loves me with a complete and oceanic passion, crashing down and covering me in mercy.

Crashing over the shore line of my consciousness with relentless power as desire is granted and destroyed with equal benevolence.

There is room for nothing to abide and behold except this relentless power which beats down on me again and yet again.

What I had thought was sent to maim, kill and bring deep suffering has done none of those things.

Now The Prayer has changed.

When the desire for bangles and baubles surfaces again, I begin to yawn as the boredom of such miniscule craving starts its destined trek to destruction.

And instead of waiting for the demise of the desire, turn a bit more quickly to My Beloved.

 And now The Prayer is full to overflowing with Gratitude and Thank You for the LOVE which pervades all.

 

 

LIVING IN A CIRCLE vs GOING IN CIRCLES

Choosing to walk the spiritual life is a path wherein we are not able to let ourselves OFF THE HOOK ever again. We can no longer be victims of others or our own urges. This word victim must be erased from our vocabulary. Nothing is 'done' to us. Life IS. On the surface it may not appear to be gentle. Indeed on the surface it is not gentle. However, these not gentle occurances are not to hurt us so much as to crack open the seeds of THANK YOU buried deep inside of each of us. This 'thank you' includes inherent in it's nature a deep visceral desire to give back to life.

Like the seed breaking through the soil to reach for the sky and become ........ a flower, a tree or a blade of grass ....... this seeking of the full life leads us to push aside what is in the way of this growth and inexorably we move to the light.

As we mature, the rules change and we become accountable for everything we SAY.... everything we THINK.... and everthing we DO. There comes a time when the unconscious pushing of personal agenda ceases to be a priority. There comes a time when continued pushing of personal agenda leads us into the dark and not the light we deeply crave. The flower when she has reached maturity gives her beauty and sweet scent to all, with-holding from none! The tree when he is mature offers shade and and drops his leaves as mulch for future growth! The grass when mature offers a soft bed to lay upon! No one and no thing is denied the gifts we are given to share if we have allowed ourselves to grow in a good way.

At some point, we two-leggeds get to choose if we will continue to move towards the light, which in maturity includes sharing the gifts we have been given ... or continue to seek only for the small self, which though appropriate at first ultimately turns us in on ourselves and moves us into deeper and deeper dark.

**********

Will we live in a Circle wherein as we take we also give freely? Or will we spin out of control seeking to draw into ourselves like the tornado or hurricane, destroying that which we draw in, so we can not fully use the gifts which life brings?

**********