CONNECTION

Is it possible, that perhaps one of the causes of fear stems from loosing touch with our CONNECTION to all of life? We innately know we are 'supposed' to be connected . We innately know were are all related. We may not know these things consciously however on some level we feel that need for connection. Then, when we can not touch that place, we are more apt to feel fear and concurrent anxiety related to knowing something is missing even if we can not put a finger on exactly what it is that is missing...

***

Seeing the Self as seperate from the Whole

creates isolation.

***

Isolation creates fear and anxiety.

***

When prayers are focused on needs other than those of self ... when at least we see the needs of others as just as important as the needs of the self (the topic of ... need vs want ... is something to also look at sometime in the future) fear tends to diminish. Taking the focus (perhaps obsession) off of self is a good thing. The Buddhist have a form of prayer called Lojong Tonglen or taking and recieving which lends itself to expanding the prayer beyond the needs of self. http://www.lojongmindtraining.com/

Certainly there are times when it is appropriate to pray for self, however, it is not uncommon for our prayers for self to not take into consideration the effect our prayers will have on others. The indiginous peoples of Turtle Island remind us to take seven generations into consideration when we pray. Our prayers for others and for self must take into consideration the effect we have on all Creation.

Recently my family said prayers that a relative might recieve a liver transplant so that he could live. One of the things the family had to look at before sending these prayers out was the consideration that in order for our family member to recieve a liver transplant someone would be loosing their life so that a liver would be available. The wording of the prayer needed to be very specific so that no harm was brought to anyone. The prayer had to not end the life of someone so that our relative could have a liver. The prayer was made for a liver to come from one who was leaving this earth life for his / her own reasons and then the liver would then be available and matching. A liver did come to our relative and his recovery was many weeks faster than is common. The doctors were astounded at how his body accepted the liver and recovered from the surgery.

***

Who sees all beings in his own Self

and his own Self in all beings

loses all fear

... from the Isha Upanishad

***

***

***

LONELINESS vs SOLITUDE

Why is this being human so very lonely sometimes? Even when surrounded by loving friends and family it can be so lonely. Conversely being alone in the woods can be peaceful and comforting - in a place of at-one-ment (atonement) with life. Clearly external circumstances alone do NOT dictate loneliness vs solitude.

Two of my daughters recently had babies. I spent time with them, attending the births and being with the new families as they got started. It was a time rich and full. It was a time of connection when loneliness was not a concern.

I then spent time with my daughter in Oregon who has a one year old. This also was a time of fullness when there was no loneliness.

Soon after the time with the daughters, i did spend time alone in the woods. Though this time was difficult in many ways, it was not a time of loneliness. It was a protected space rich and full of life. Clearly there is more to this loneliness vs solitude than proximity to other people.

I love my daughters and the heart overflows when i think of them. Being seperated from them and now from the little grandbabies is so painful. Now i feel lonely. Now my heart aches to a level that it is excrusciating. It is easy to think that the loneliness comes from being seperated from the daughters and the grandbabies. However, i am not sure that this is the case. That is to say, i am not sure if the source of the lonliness is seperation from my beloved family. Perhaps the true source of lonliness is selfishness coming from me. Let me explain.

When i was with the family my focus was on them. The intention to be there for them and to help them was paramount. Now, the focus has returned to Me, Myself and I. Perhaps the lonliness is a by-product of self absorbtion. When alone out in the woods, again the focus was not on the self. It was a time of prayer - occasionally for self and most often for others. There was no lonliness when the focus was NOT on self.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE - - - Sitting with this deep loneliness i feel now and not trying to FIX it - Not judging this loneliness as good or bad - seeking to not manipulate my daughters and make them feel responsible for my loneliness - seeking to not endlessly distract myself from this place of lonliness by going endlessly to the movies or out to eat or talking on the phone with friend after friend after friend. The restlessness starts to slow down as i just sit and observe.

This loneliness is all part of being fully human. Being in solitude is also all part of being fully human. One is not better than the other. Though solitude is certainly more comfortable than lonliness. However if we are choosing the journey of awakening - it is not all about comfort.

Escaping loneliness through distraction will never bring lasting satisfaction. Loneliness will always return. Oh well, it is time to accept who i am and who you are. We are human beings who are sometimes more or less lonely. There is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing to fix. We can allow ourselves to just be in the middle of this life which contains these components. Sometimes we are lonely and sometimes we are in peaceful solitude. One is not better than the other.

So ... ... ...

The monotomy and solitude of the quiet life stimulates the creative mind.

Albert Einstein

Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.

Paul Tillich

The good and the wise lead quiet lives.

Euripides

Solitude is the price of greatness

Paramahansa Yogananda

LIFE

It is all about the breathe. Breathing in. Breathing out. As i sit here holding a baby not yet 4 days old. Listening to the breathe moving in and out. Moving out and in. What do we breathe in and out? For humans on the mechanical level there is gas exchange / ventilation carried out by the actions of the heart and lungs and then disbursed by the circulatory system. Breathe transports oxygen into the body and takes carbon dioxide out of the body. Here is what is also happening right now between this little one and i - the little one is breathing the flavor of me in along with the oxygen and then the little one is releasing out not only carbon dioxide but the flavor of self which i then take in. We are getting to know one another. This little one and i are also breathing in, listening to life through the breathe. We are breathing in all that is happening around us. We are one with all of Creation through the breathe. Creation is taking us in also. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED on a very basic and fundamental level. There is no way to not be connected. We can be out of touch and not be aware of that connection. However, that connection to all that IS continues unabated despite not having conscious awareness. We breathe in and out joy. We breathe in and out suffering. Life is a dynamic and continuous seeking of homeostasis. It is all about balance. This is a very intimate exchange and yet we are without awareness for the most part of this very intimate and continuous exchange. This exchange, this seeking of balance is love. Some say the only thing we really have to give in this life is our body. This is true. However, we also have a choice as to what is given with this body. Each breathe is potentially a prayer. Through the breathe we can connect - be a conduit - be a hollow bone. Is your breathe a prayer to be a hollow bone for love and balance?

ONE BREATHE AT A TIME WE CAN OFFER OURSEVES WE CAN OFFER OUR LIFE AS A GIFT TO OUR RELATIVES