RUMINATING ABOUT THE THREE GUNAS •*ॐ*• or WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO HERE KID

Guṇa : गुण) which means string, a strand of a cord or twine.

There are considered to be three Gunas:

·         Sattva -  सत्त्व  -creation - purity - Liberating thoughts, feelings and actions

·         Rajas -  रजस्) – preservation - responsible for motion, energy and preservation – actions which include the ego and so bind us – this binds us to desire and selfish action binding us to the material world

·         Tamas -  तमस्  - destruction - darkness - laziness and lethargy – this kills our spiritual life

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

This morning as I drove on to the temple grounds I arrived just a little early so I could have a bit of time to meditate before the lecture service.  As I was parking my car I had the thought: maybe I should go to the children’s class and see if the teacher needs any help. 

The thought to see if help was needed - was immediately followed by: if I am really needed, I may miss not only the meditation time but the morning service presentation also – I don’t want to go!!!  Then, in guilt, I tried to rationalize the thought: time in prayer/meditation and listening to service are also very important.  I pointed out to myself the story of Mary and Martha from the Christian Bible as an example of why I should use this time for prayer rather than service (Mary who stayed at the side of Christ focused on eternity and Martha who served in the kitchen focused on the moment). 

Because I still felt guilty about not wanting to help when it might mean giving up meditation/lecture time, I did go check at the classroom to see if I could help but no one had arrived yet.  If I am being honest I felt, ‘phewwww – off the hook’ – ouch - guilt bit me a second time!!!  Choices were becoming muddied by the intertwining of positive and negative motivations. 

It is not surprising, the morning talk was on the three gunas:  Sattva - Rajas – Tamas.  The Brother speaking shared the story of King Yudhishtara and The Mongoose.  Before telling the story, he shared that the mongoose is honored in India as he has saved children from dangerous snakes by killing the snakes:

Once the Mahabharatha war was over, the victorious King Yudhishtara of Hastinapura performed a yagna for the wellbeing of all his subjects. The yagna was conducted lavishly. Precious and expensive gifts were given away to everyone. The yagna was so grand that people would not stop singing praises of it.  The king who had initially had pure intentions when preforming the Yagna began to feel pride.  After the celebration the king was walking thru the area where the celebration had been held and cleanup was underway.  The king came upon a mongoose eating some of the food offerings from the celebration.   It was the strangest mongoose ever. One side of the mongoose looked plain and normal like any other mongoose. However much to the astonishment of everyone, the other side gleamed of pure gold!

The mongoose looked at Yudhishtara and spoke: ‘Please....!' It said disdainfully. 'I can’t even imagine why people insist of calling this a great yagna! Why? This is just a mockery...a show!’ The mongoose shook his head angrily. ‘This is not a yagna!’

Yudhishtara asked, '...why are you saying these things?’

And so the mongoose told him a story.  He told of a poor Brahmin family who gave a sacrifice with great humility and love.   He told how it was in eating the pure offering that his body had turned to gold.  He sadly stated, ‘your offering did not have the purity to change me to gold.’

The king knew the mongoose spoke the truth.  He knew he had let pride come in during the offering and sullied what had started as a pure offering. 

It was then the king looked up and across the field.  He saw his Guru – Krishna.  Running to Krishna he took the dust of his feet.  He saw the error of his ways.

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

Just so, during the lecture I saw the twisting of the gunas in my personal life - - -the twisting of good intention into selfishness.

I continue to learn about the nature of this twisting which twines issue/thought/intention together.  Even in the seemingly small personal situation this morning there is clearly the gunas at play. Immediately I saw the corollary of the story with my little personal ‘drama’ this morning before the service.  In my heart I saw The Master looking at me just as the King saw his Guru looking at him across the distance after the mongoose had spoken with him.

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

·

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

It is not the actual choice I made but rather the attitude motivating that choice which twists the twine - - -  Raveling / Unraveling the karma of lifetimes.  I am told the direction to Creator is the one which unravels - so that we might set ourselves free.  How subtle is this twisting and un-twisting.  How I lie to myself and then to others trying to convince of the virtue and purity of my choices.  How boring I find this drama which is self - created. 

So, I spin one way and then the other – raveling and then unraveling.  Sometimes moving slowly and sometimes quickly towards that place of STILLNESS. 

.•*ॐ*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..*•.. .•*ॐ*•..

Always moving

Always moving

Until perfect homeostasis found

The Birth of Fear: April 17, 1961

 

 

 

 

On April 17, 1961 the invasion of The Bay of Pigs1 was launched.  This was the beginning of a deep fear in me.  I was almost eleven years old and just starting to have a world view concept.  This was the beginning of feeling there was no ‘safe place’ on the entire earth.  This was the beginning of a fear which was to grow over the years and drive much of my life.  My parents, my friend’s parents and my neighbors were all glued to the TV sets as they and the commentators were verbalizing their fears and concerns.  The TV commentators were giving update after update each one more dire than the one previous.

In 1963 I was in the 7^th grade at El Segundo Junior High School on the west coast of California.  I remember walking from west to east across the lunch court.  The court was empty and I was walking between classes while ruminating on the recent news on the television about people building fallout shelters in the home and those without access to fallout shelters being taught (again) in the schools about ‘drop and cover’ techniques. We did practice ‘drop and cover’ in school.  We all pretty much knew that the drop and cover would not save us from a nuclear attack (which we believed was imminent).  My parents felt that building a shelter was foolish as who would want to live in a world after The Bomb.  I remember stopping and looking around the empty court wondering, ‘where can I go to be safe?’ I certainly knew that under any of these tables there was no safety to be found even though that is what I was being taught to do.  I did believe that there must be a safe place to go and I was determined to find that place.

In more recent years, added to the threat of us destroying one another thru wars came in rumblings from The Mother Earth herself.  We had so abused her it was becoming necessary for her to begin making adjustments to obtain balance / homeostasis.  Earthquakes, Tornados, Hurricanes and other events were on the increase.  Climate change was now a recognized and accepted reality.  Related to the North American continent the Native Americans who describe this land as Turtle Island tell us that as predicted long ago by the grammas’ and grampas’:  the turtle is beginning to go back under the water – the shore lines are no longer safe.  For this reason many are choosing to move away from shore lines: some a few miles and others thousands of miles.  Perhaps there is more safety as the turtle goes under to be on the top middle of the turtle's back; however major bomb silos are also housed in the middle of her back. (Just because it is a bit safer from the raging of The Mother Kali along the coast does not mean it is really safe anywhere.) 

 



 

 

Ultimately – there is no place which promises physical safety.  Coming to understand this has not been so much a giving up of hope as a releasing of fear.   The only place any of us can truly live is RIGHT HERE and RIGHT THIS MOMENT.  This is not to say I do not make plans for creating a safe environment – I do.       

The primary priority now is creating and being peaceful on the inner landscape of my thoughts and feelings.  Perhaps this is a luxury which comes with age.  I hold little hope for a peaceful world for the humans and others over the next 100 or 300 years, as we continue to conduct ourselves overall in a barbaric and selfish manner.  I do believe some will survive and that 1,000 years from now we may indeed return to the garden. 

 

 

 

 

1.       Link to public history of the Bay of Pigs from the JFK Library  http://www.jfklibrary.org/JFK/JFK-in-History/The-Bay-of-Pigs.aspx   

Second Verse Same as The First

At the ripe old age of 28 when most are still jumping into this life, I was considering, ‘what is this earth life – do I want to continue in this life?’  The pain (not personal but rather that pain which pervades earth life) was excruciating.  I actually spent time with a counselor trying to sort out my feelings related to not being in the earth life versus being in this earth life.  I was not afraid of dying and I was not suicidal – I just saw the impermanent nature of this earth life wherein everything changes and questioned – ‘do I want to fully be born into this life?’  I felt like I was in a cocoon and not fully born.  I watched and heard others speak and act out ‘life’ and knew my experience was very different.   Ultimately I decided to ‘take the curriculum’ – I convinced myself it was a virtue to see what it was like to be a human who is doing, feeling and being.

•*ॐ*•

I still question if I made the correct choice.

•*ॐ*•

We are told by some there are no wrong choices and it is all a part of the journey.  On one hand this may be true.  I wanted to know what it was like to be in this earth fully.  Now I know.  I am thinking if I had not made some of the choices that more fully brought me into the earth, I might still have the seed desires which led me to choose what I saw as ‘taking the curriculum’  pulling at me until fulfilled  - and so I might not be any better off by abstinence.  On the other hand, I am pretty sure I have created new or deepened the previous samsara* tracts thru my choices. 

Now after countless years, tears and yes fears – I see all that I gave up to travel the path of this earth life – yet – clearly I had DESIRE and I followed that desire and took the journey both inner and outer across The Turtle Island. 

Would I have had the discrimination at 28 to consciously choose another pathway?  I think not.  Now at 64 I am just beginning to scratch the surface of creating discrimination in my choices rather than following desire where it led. All those years ago I sought to convince myself that desire is synonymous with needed curriculum.  It was popular at that time to say: this earth is a schoolroom - take the lessons.  My error was believing that chasing desire was taking the lesson. 

Perhaps next time the issue comes up there will also be discrimination coupled with perseverance to make choices which bring goodness to my life and the lives of others.  My prayer at this time is to live long enough to clear out the newly created and perhaps previous life karma still tagging along.  This one is grateful for each day which brings new opportunity to turn yet more fully to The Light.   

Chopping wood . . .

Carrying the water . . .

 

*sam•sa•ra  (səmˈsɑr ə) 

 1.  (in Buddhism) the process of coming into existence as a differentiated, mortal creature.

 2.  (in Hinduism) the endless series of births, deaths, and rebirths to which all beings are subject.

[1885–90; < Skt samsāra literally, running together]

 

°˚°★*˚°。°*° CHANGE *★ °˚°★*˚°。°* ★ The One Constant in this Earth Life

The one constant in this EARTH LIFE is change.  You can be sure that nothing will stay the same.  Flowers will come and go with the seasons.  Even the rose bush who grows dormant for the Winter before returning in the spring - she will eventually go from the earth - die.  Anything that is born on The Mother also dies - eventually. 

I have been reminiscing on when I left the RoseBud Reservation last August 2013.  As much as I was looking forward to being with family of the heart and blood in California, I was also leaving family of the heart on The RoseBud. 

°˚°★*˚°。°*。°*★*˚°。CHANGES °˚°★*˚°。°*。°*★*˚°。

A few days before I left the reservation as I was packing up my trailer for the big move west a bird flew into my home.  It was early evening when there were still a few hours of sun light left. The sky was not yet changing to the reds and oranges of setting sun but was still carrying varying tones of blue.  It was a beautiful and peaceful time of early evening.  She was a beautiful, young and healthy bird.  She had an inverted V tail.  There were no distinctive male colors; rather she had the muted and protective colors of the female.  She did not call out.  She did not become frantic.  She flew into the house thru the garage and into the kitchen and then into the living room.  She made eye contact with me as she flew towards me.  I saw no fear in her demeanor.  Lady Bird was coming as a gift.  After she had flown around the house for a bit she flew back into the garage thru the connecting doors and roosted in the rafters.  I left the garage door to outside open for her but she seemed happy in the garage though the light was still shining thru the door to the outside and she knew how to leave if she chose.

In the morning when I woke she had gone.  Flown away and now it was time for me to fly away.  When I had left Florida a few years back, members of the dragonfly nation had come in a similar way to say ‘time to fly’.  Now Lady Bird had done the same. 

My life has been and continues to be full to overflowing with Love from Both Creator and Creation, full to overflowing with beginnings and endings.  All the seasons move within me.  Spring gives me new beginnings and renewals.  Summer gives the fullness and richness of youthful seeking to be.  Fall brings a riot of colors and reminiscences.  Then comes Winter, a time to move inside to that place beyond Creation.  The seasons interchange – come and go – within the Universe of my consciousness in much the same way the season changes and moves over the face of The Earth.  A peace can come – an assurance; being at-one with the changing seasons of my soul juxtaposed to the seasons of The Earth. 

thinking about the concept of DESERVING ...

 

 

********

Yesterday at a local gas station a man respectful - smelling of alcohol - came up to me and asked me for money.  He called me gramma/Unci (I am pretty sure he called me this just to 'soften' me up).  I told him I would not give him money but I would get him a cup of coffee - which I did.  After I did this, a young man about 30 years younger than me who worked at the gas station came out of the gas station store and called out to me.  He called me little girl/Wincicila (I am pretty sure he did this to wound me).  When I turned, he told me I was foolish and that this man was a drunk and did not deserve (his word - 'deserve') the coffee. he then pointed to another man who was talking with another patron of the gas station and suggested I should have helped this one as his family had fallen on hard times. 

 

I did not know - Grandfather/Tunkasila was working at this local gas station in the form of a young man  and deciding who deserved compassion.  The truth is - if the 'deserving' man had approached me, I would have given him a cup of coffee also. 

 

Every one - every one - has the spark of Creator and Creation inside of them - I do not have the wisdom to know who deserves compassion so it is just my intention to give compassionate care to all . . . . . .

Writing About ANGER ... ... ... ... ... or... ... ... ... ... ... Something Else Completely

 

Anger so easily wells up in me.  I have so far to go to be in that balanced place of PEACE and LOVE.  Feeling anger  as it starts to build in my belly, I simultaneously see ego there trying to maintain control and power, trying to prevent humiliation (thru loss of power and control).  Thank you to all the good teachers who have shown thru examples both good (being peace) and bad (caught in ego).

Making many promises of doing good, doing what is right and being a warrior for positive change in The Earth.  My Teacher looking at me with calm compassion, dismissing my promises said “Don’t get angry anymore.”  I have not kept any of my grandiose promises.  I have tried and tried and tried to not get angry anymore and still the worst enemy I fight is anger.  Angry with oh so many of the outside factors pressing in on me, it is the inside issue of anger coming back again and again which at this point leaves me feeling devastated. 

Having spent 63 summers in The Earth, I feel like a complete failure.  The one thing the teacher has asked of me, the one thing The Teacher requests and I fail repeatedly.

There is a part of me seeking to bring long vision and logic in.  I tell self: this feeling of worthlessness and failure will pass.  As you all know, when in the middle of that feeling, that is all there is for us.  There is no apparent ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ 

“Don’t get angry anymore.” 

“Don’t get angry anymore.” 

“Don’t get angry anymore.” 

“Don’t get angry anymore.” 

When The Teacher requested this of me, I thought.  That is easy.  If that is all you want, consider it done.  Then, for a day it was easy.   Now three years later, it is clearly not so easy.  Wanting to run away and hide from what is predominating.  Not to get away from what makes me angry.  Wanting to get away from me as this whole mellow-drama of the LIFE OF ME is boring and selfish beyond ability to measure.

There is no way out of this dilemma except to walk thru the fire.  Do the work and stop getting angry. 

Time to change the focus from Poor Pitiful Me to the place it has belonged all along Taking Care of The People.  There is no person who has been or will be on The Earth who is not suffering. 

So I am dealing with anger.  So what.  Join the club. 

Time to just do the work that is given to me to do.

Interesting . .  Had thought the topic was going to be anger, but it ends up being selfishness.  Without selfishness there would be no anger.  The selfish nature feeds many painful feelings including anger. 

 

 

✫*¨`*✶♪.¸  ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻ ... ✫*¨`*  ✶♪.¸¸.✻  ღϠ₡ღ✻ ...   ✫*¨`*✶♪.¸  ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻

"God feels no anger, no matter how many times we err.

He is the Fountainhead of limitless, unconditional love."

--From the book "Moments of Truth" by Paramahansa Yogananda

✫*¨`*✶♪.¸  ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻ ... ✫*¨`*  ✶♪.¸¸.✻  ღϠ₡ღ✻ ...   ✫*¨`*✶♪.¸  ¸.✻ღϠ₡ღ✻

 

a video to consider listening to
Put a Little Love in Your Heart
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acpLe00-0t8

 

About My Empolyer and My Work ...

Just to clear up any confusion: I have never worked for SJRMC, SCH or now IHS. I have and will always consider myself as one who works for the people.  I have however worked through SJRMC, SCH and now IHS.  Do you see the difference? 

 The fact that I am a given the title 'nurse' is also near inconsequential in the scheme of things over a lifetime.  Any work we do which sits with ahimsa* is with proper focus a work for the people and is then a healing work.  To offer someone a cup of coffee while you work at Starbucks has the potential to be every bit as healing as nursing at a bedside or collecting the trash from a curb or holding a little one on your lap and reading them a story.   It is the attitude held while doing the work.  To offer a cup of water with anger in your heart is harmful.  To offer a cup of water with good intention is healing. 

Yes, it is good to gain an education, if it is going to help you serve the people in the way most suited to your temperament and the needs of the people.  Remember, you are an important part of 'the people' and if the learning feeds your heart this is also a good thing.  However education alone can be like an empty plate put before a hungry man.  The plate may be beautiful, expensive and well made, however, it is not worth anything in the moment when the starving person looks at it craving something to fill the empty belly.

There have been many times when I have looked in the mirror and not liked the person looking back.  This signals the need for change.  This being human and humane is not easy.  It is sometimes difficult to face myself there is so much shame.  I am thinking you have felt the same.  You may even choose to not see yourself related to the shame and knowing that once you see you have no excuse to not act and make positive change.

*****

Look in the mirror.

 

Who do you see looking back when you look into the eyes?

 

 

*****

 

 

 

*more on AHIMSA can be found in Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda.  

Chapter 44 discusses Yogananda's meeting with Mahatma Gandhi and a discussion on ahimsa. 

This book and this chapter is a good read.  enjoy..